Togetherness, A Mother's Thoughts

I'm thinking they must be enjoying a good time together. There will be a missing link as one was not able to join the four. Sisters, four in a fun place for a time to get to know one another. The first time this has happened since childhood. They will laugh and giggle. They will share things and feel close. They might even shed a tear while sharing needs and hurts, but the healing will take place and the closeness of being with one another will bring joy. They will enjoy the sights and sounds of the music and laughter around them and the food will satisify because of their gourmet appetites. There will be a spiritual time because each has made their peace with God. They will share the grace and love of the Savior and will never be quiet the same when they return to their individual lives.

Mourning and Celebraion

Traveling to the cemetery way out in the wilds to bury my baby sister, her being the last of my family, leaving me as the only child living out of a family of sixteen , is something we need to do, but there will be sadness. There is though the blessing of knowing she is with our Blessed Savior makes it easier to bear and much to be thankful for. Last year we traveled to the same cemetery to bury another sister, dug the grave and placed her ashes into the ground, had a short service, covered her grave, consoled her daughter and left her there with my parents and another sister, who had been buried many years before. So different now. Used to be the funeral director took care of these things sparing the family of that kind of involvement. Seems more personal this way, digging the ground, thinking of the good times and blessings as memories spill over into sharing things long forgotten as the years have gone by. It's a good thing to be this closely involved.

Then we go on to my cousin's ninetieth birthday celebration at Engadine, a very small town not too far from the grave sites. This cousin has become very special to me because we share family memories very special to both of us. She is my second cousin. All the first cousins are gone and I am the only one left from my generation although many of the second cousins are older than I. What do you give a ninety year old, who is happy with her life and wants for nothing, content with what she has and who she is. I wll give her a card thanking her for the times we've had together, the memories we've shared and that we have kept the family alive in our hearts and been able to share with the younger members of our families what a blessing families are and how important it is to keep family memories alive. Jessie, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

REVIEW

Father's day was a blessing to both of us. Receiving a card with best wishes from the grandchildren, with their special notes, made his day, and the cards and phone calls from the daughters were special. Reviewing our lives we are humbled by the love of our children and grandchildren.
Upstairs, sitting at my old Brothers word processor,where so many of my writings were done I reviewed poems I had written and not looked at for some time. These took me through the years of my christian life. Through the happy times, the sad times , the discouraging times, the times of need and the times where God felt so near I maybe could have reached out and touched him, but of course I didn't. I noticed a theme going through each of the writings. In almost every poem or writing my heart broke for others, those whom I love and those I barely know and then for those I don't know at all. I am so blessed by knowing my Savior. The desire of my heart is always for others to know Him too, and it came through while I reviewed my writings.
There was a used notebook there and picking it up I found things I had written to Heather, Athea, Heidi, and others, some friends, and some whose spouses had died, and some for birthday greetings to friends. The theme through these as I reviewed them was for a closer walk with their God, encouragement to believe He could take care of problems, or make situations right, or the blessing of putting him first in all situations.
What a wonderful day I had because I see in those I love their lives and I believe with all my heart God is working. My payers are being answered. What more could one ask for?

IS THERE EVER AN END TO LEARNING?

Been feeling a little proud lately as I hear of the accomplishments of our daughters. It's not the degrees that are so important, but the drive to keep on learning. I hear of Batchler and Associate degrees, but I also hear of taking advanced courses in ALF rules and regulations. Then there is news of one making first in managing the business she is engaged in, and pictures of gardening never tried before, and the back yard being beautified. Their Dad is engaged in readying a study in the Book of Ephesians for a Bible Study requested by the Pastor of the church we attend, and I find myself working on old slides of our missionary days to answer a request to present and share our experiences of those days with a woman's group. Our minds are probably the most important part of us God created. We have a responsibility to keep feeding it because even after we leave this earth our minds will keep on learning. Isn't it great to know we will never reach our capacity for learning because the Holy Spirit will always be out front opening up more to us forever. Never quit searching.

AWAKE TO THE MORNING SUN

Awoke to the most beautiful sunshine, sun streaming in through the high windows lighting the room with gold. So many things to do today. Walking through the road covered on each side with blue forget-me nots, I thought of Ron. I remember digging up a clump of these beautiful flowers, putting them in a pot and into a carry-all and taking them on the plane to attend his funeral in St. Petersburg, Florida. I miss him. We shared a spirit of love for our wonderful Savior. I'll see him one of these days. We will meet again in a place much more beautiful than the shining sun this morning.
I took pictures today of flowers not yet in bloom so I can take more when in full bloom and show off their beauty. Apple blossoms to, with wee apples showing themselves behind the fading colors, and I tried very hard to get a robin to stay still, but he wouldn't cooperate. Then the rains came, replenishing the ground, the droplets shining like diamonds as the sun peaked through again.
What more should it take for one to believe in the Creator God? He makes it all so worthwhle.

FOLLOWING THROUGH

It's one thing to think of doing something new, but another to plan and follow through. received pictures of Berty's garden today and her father was impressed. She helped ready the garden here, but hers is up already. The cold weather is slowing things down a bit here. A garden is somewhat like our own lives. The weeds bother sometimes in both places and we have to take care of them so they don't take over. The hoe is the best way to take care of weeds in the garden,but I am so glad the Holy Spirit takes care of them for me because of the work of the cross. Take care of your gardens.

THEPLACE THAT ONLY GOD CAN REACH

Berty brought this back to me today as I read her blog. This experience happened to me a short time after the Lord came intomy life. I was so filled with the wonder of His love and forgiveness I wanted to be pure like He. It's quite a journey to know and grow into God. There has to be a beginning, but once began there will never be an end. It is wonderful to know we are on this journey together

THE PLACE

The place inside myself that only God can reach
Where hidden there from others is the darkness of my life,
God comes there and looks deep into my soul
I cringe and squirm and try to turn away.
Oh, God I cry please don’t look into the abyss of what is me.
He answered me, I must, my child, to bring it to the light
Let me in that awful place where the darkness is so deep,
Where squirmy things and squishy things can’t get out except by me.
In the darkness of my soul I wait before my Lord.
He who gave his life for me deserves to see deep into me.
What happens when He comes with purity and light
And opens that dark door of me and brings it to his light?
The lies I’ve told, perversions felt, the misery and strife
Is nothing compared to all the things I hold onto so tight.
Fear, distrust, dishonesty prejudice and hate,
Sin is a very funny thing holding onto feels so right.
Then one day the Savior comes and fills me with his light.
He said, give me the darkness and I’ll be your delight
Until I posses all of you our oneness won’t be right.
I said, Oh, God who made the universe and me,
Who loves me with eternity is sight
Open the door to all things dark and bring your light to me,
Move into that darkest hell that lives inside of me.
One at a time He showed to me things that had to go.
Naming them one by one He brought them to the light,
Horrid things, forgotten in the darkness of my night,
Things that kept my Lord and me apart.
Go further Lord, each corner must be searched,
Selfishness and greed, envy and all other things of the night.
I squirmed beneath his penetrating light.
Into the corners of that place the light tried hard to go
Till understanding came to me to show it was I who had to let them go.
God’s light came, and one by one I knew He saw my sin.
The light burned bright and in each hole and corner shone.
Out, I said as each was brought to light,
Take them Lord and fill me with your light.
Empty then I stood, or so I thought until I understood it was still not right.
What is wrong, Oh God, I pled to know.
He answered, comprehend my child it’s you who has to go.
Its not the acts of sin you harbor there,
But the source of all the sin I must lay bare.
It’s me you want, dear Lord? How can this be?
If I give myself to you where will I be?
Vanished from the earth no more to see or feel or think?
I’ll be no more if all of me I give to you.
He said, my child you will become a part of me,
I’ll fill the holes and crannies of your soul.
I will become the source of all that’s good,
The darkness will be banished from your soul.
Help me, my God to understand what I must do to rid myself of me.
God said, give me yourself and I’ll remove the darkness of your night,
My Spirit’s light will fill you with myself,
You will reflect the brightness of my own life.
Wrenching, painful rooting of the nature bound to me,
To rid myself of me must be.
In the light God sees with me the turmoil of my soul.
I struggle as I try to keep myself for me.
God waited, as death to self I cried
To be rid of me became my great desire.
Wrenching pain gave way to hope and peace
As Christ himself came into that dark space.
The darkness fled, the struggle ended.
My God became the light inside of me.
The Spirit of his very self engulfed the empty space in me.
There is a place where Adam lived, the past is gone with him.
My Lord, My God has come instead, my life is lived in him.
Glory, Glory, Glory the Son is in my soul.
The Holy Spirit’s power is here to keep me whole.
I’m in heavenly places; my God is in my heart,
The riches of my Father’s life,
His love and glory given,
Will fill my life from now until I’m with him In his Heaven.

By
VEQ

HOW MUCH ARE YOU WORTH?

So was the title of the sermon this morning. David's people said David was worth ten thousand of them and would not let David go into battle to protect his safety. The Queen of Sheba gave Solomen so much, but Solomon could not give her the wisdom she was after. God had given Solomon the gift of wisdom after he had asked for it so he could govern and discern the needs of is people, but the greatest gift was given for us in the death of God's only Son on the cross.
The message gave me a look at my worth to God. How marvelous to know I mean so much to someone that He would die in my place. I look forward to thaning Him in person one of these days.

THE VISITORS ARE BACK

We waited for the visitors to come while Berty was here. This evening they came cavorting around the apple trees. One was frisky, acting like a buck in rooting season, or maybe it was brother and sister playing around. Anyway we were happy to see them and now we know why we wanted Berty to stay a week longer. Now we have to get busy and put a protective fence around the apple trees so we can enjoy watching the fruit grow and ripen. The golden swamp roses and the blue forget-me-nots are making the woods glow with their colors. Spring, a wonderful time of year, reminding me of my own new birth, God has been so gracious in giving to me.

Vacation? Over so soon?

Berty's vacation seems so short, but we packed a lot into this short time,
been so great having her to ourselves. And her Dad kept her busy, and watching the birds kept her occupied. She worked hard in the garden and planted onion sets for a fall harvest. We visited the cemetaries where the ones who have left us are resting and with that she learned some family history. Best of all we shared the Lord and spiritual things close to both of our hearts and we have things to think and pray about. Tomorro we'll be alone again for awhile, but will be grateful for the time we were able to spend with Berty.

Never Quit Learning

It's frustrating when you learn something new and then when you want to use it out it goes and the process starts all over again. One thing I am sure of I am going to work at this blogging until I get it. Berty is here and she is a good teacher, lots of patience. It's so nice to have her here. She is very comfortable to have around. Likes the variety of birds we have at the feeders, including humming birds and orioles. She saw a porkupine baby up a tree eating lunch of the very new buds just popping out. A rabbitt crossed the front yard and she has been making use of her camera.

The Reason

What's the reason for this blog? First to see if I can do it having never tried. Learning is so exciting even at 80 years old. Yes 80!